I started this photo adventure with the intentions of photographing nostaliga. Elephant ears, carny fries, dizzy rides and bright colors. Maybe I would photograph that iconic image of a ferris wheel against the sunset.
The carnival became this creepy, odd place of ugly toys with huge teeth, a misplaced sense of supporting the troops, caged animals, overweight adults and kids buzzing off of sugar and adrenaline who are completely unaware of these things (much like I was when I was a kid). Goats would desperately poke their heads out of their cage begging for food, a daily ritual. Beautiful trees and glowing sunsets were obstructed by the sharp, geometric metal of portable buildings housing artifical food. You couldn't look in any singular direction without some bright advertisement about nachos, pizzas, fries and sugary delights. Attractions for kids had cartoonish, lewd paintings of well-endowed women plastered all over. There were patriotic displays celebrating America, but there was no diversity. Vendors were selling cheaply made products, relying upon the tacky taste of little girls. I think I even got one of those shitty sparkly hats when I was younger after begging my parents to get it for me, along with my temporary tattoo and heaping cup of greasy fries.
Maybe I am being too critical of a lifestyle. Maybe I am jaded by all of the bad news media spits out, or the fact that it's election year. Maybe it's because I've been watching too many Christopher Nolan films involving a certain nocturnal super-hero. Maybe I've been sitting too self-righteously in my shining utopia of personal health and my idea of being well-informed. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I have no right to judge so quickly. Instead of attacking the carnival with negativity, I could have been more aware of laughter between friends, parents treating their children to a fun evening, or animals having a safe home with no worries of predators.
It's nice to have a medium in which I can explore my observations and have these private debates with myself. Photographers make a personal stance with every photo they make, regardless if they intended to or not. If I had not discussed my inner thoughts in this post, my images come off as a critical eye against American culture, instead of somebody who just came to the realization that maybe one of her fondest childhood memories is much more dynamic than previously concluded.